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1995-08-20
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From jfy@cis.ksu.edu Thu Apr 21 23:04:02 1994
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hello everyone :) the twisted imagination has kicked in again, producing yet
another song parody... please do take it with several grains of salt... :)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>the lady of shalott<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
/Strek-ler/ Naomi_Novik@Brown.edu \Associate\
/PYTHONITE/ \ Member, \
/ PSEB / "dream not of today..." \SFLA&E/BS\
/ SATI / -night blessing of the yashel- \ * * * \
/ / \ Q.E.D. \
/ ***************************************** \
/ MTFBWY JLPSoL--Ship's Disciplinarian LL&P \
*************************************************************
trekquote: "It's difficult to work in groups when you're omnipotent."
-Q, "Deja Q"
----------------------------Original message----------------------------
The Next Generation Lament
(To the tune of "American Pie" by Don McLean)
Not so very long ago
I can still remember
How that intro used to make me smile
And I knew if Bev had her chance
That she could make Jean-Luc dance
And maybe he'd be happy for a while.
But Paramount just didn't heed
With every trek post I would read
Bad scripts for the movie
I couldn't watch the TV.
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about GR's demise
But something touched me deep inside
The day the Next Gen died.
So,
CHORUS
Bye, bye Captain Jean-Luc Picard
Your Number One is looking like a tub full of lard
The good old crew is drinking synthehol hard
Singing, "This'll be the show the fans barred."
"This'll be the show the fans barred."
Did you read the Nitpicker's Guide
And do you speak Klingon on the side
Like they do it on the show?
And do you believe in transwarp drive,
Can Star Trek make you come alive,
And do you wish that you could "make it so"?
Well I know that you're a trekker then
And that you also watch Next Gen
We're all hooked on the show
Why is Paramount letting it go?
I was a trekker waiting for season eight
Wondering if Geordi would ever get a date
But I knew he would have to wait
The day the Next Gen died.
I started singing,
CHORUS
Now for seven years they've been on their own
And Kirk grew fat and stayed at home
But that's not how it's gonna be
When the Powers That Be put them on the screen
With a script that USENET all has seen
With a guy in a really bad toupee
Oh and while JLP is looking round
Will Deanna run his ship aground?
The Enterprise won't return
If Paramount doesn't earn.
And while Engels wrote a book on Gene
Trekkers started to make a scene
And we decided it was all a dream
The day the Next Gen died.
We were singing,
CHORUS
Helter skelter in a movie swelter
This bomb will call for a fallout shelter
Eight months off and coming fast
They said number six would be the last
Kirk even tried to make another pass
But the Klingons on the homeworld thought him crass.
Now TNG's run was ratings-packed
While Stewart showed us how to act
We'd all line up to see
Though we want them on TV!
But Paramount wants to make Kirk a lead
The Next Generation should not feed
The ego that we saw revealed
The day the Next Gen died.
We started singing,
CHORUS
Oh in the E-D they were all in one place
A generation next in space
With no need to go back again.
So come on, Worf be merry, Worf be quick
Worf, put Kirk's head on a stick
Cause death is the character's only end.
Oh and as I watched Kirk on the set
I wished he and Picard had never met
Any fool not in hell
Could act better or as well
And as the flames piled high onto the .nets
To give Kirk-haters more regrets
I saw the B5 writers place their bets
The day the Next Gen died.
They were singing,
CHORUS
I met a fan who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
So she said, "Wesley's gone away."
I logged on to the net once more
Where I'd read the previews all before
And the strek-lers said the movie shouldn't play.
And in rec.arts the trekkers screamed
"Kirk must die!" and we all dreamed
That Paramount had misspoken
TNG would not be broken.
And the three men I wish just got lost
Chekov, Scott, and Kirk from TOS
Paramount should not have paid their cost
The day the Next Gen died.
They were singing,
repeat CHORUS twice, fade out.